Do you want to be a better lover (who wouldn’t want to?)? Here are seven science-backed, easy suggestions to achieve the goal.
Ask for Guidance
Every person likes being stimulated in a specific way. Just because an ex enjoyed something in bed doesn’t mean your current partner will be as thrilled about the activity.
Ask for guidance instead of assuming.
If your partner feels too shy talking about what turns them on and does the trick, you can simply have them guiding your hand or showing you exactly what they like.
A quickie is a lot of fun every once in a while but great sex is slow and sensual.
Take your time and enjoy the things that you’re doing. You’re not trying to get a specific outcome. Rather, you’re having fun during the journey.
Kissing each other for prolonged periods of time, undressing your partner slowly and touching every inch of their skin will build so much erotic anticipation that the two of you will find it very difficult to keep your hands off each other.
Do the Opposite of What Porn Teaches You
Porn is guilty of creating completely unrealistic expectations and views of sex.
Psychologists are worried by the fact that porn has turned into a leading form of sex education. What’s shown as reality there, however, is heavily edited. It’s the result of multiple takes and interactions between people who are professionals.
Porn also focuses excessively on the genitals while the human body is endowed with tens of other erogenous zones. Foreplay is an incredibly important part of sex and some people even find it preferable to actual penetration. Do not use adult films as your guides to the world of good sex. In fact, intimacy should be a lot more diversified.
Get Some Toys and Accessories
Great lovers aren’t threatened by sex toys for men and adult accessories. On the contrary! They know how to incorporate such items into a highly satisfying and exciting sexual routine.
HotCherry has dozens of product categories, some of which you’re probably unaware of. Take your time to acquaint yourself with the options. Try out a few classic pieces, get some feedback from your partner and if they like the toys, move on to getting other more niche items.
For example, you can start with a simple bullet vibrator for a bit of body stimulation. If both of you enjoy the experience, you can progress to more complex sex toys for couples.
Don’t Be Selfish
We all want to receive pleasure.
Great lovers, however, know how to postpone their own gratification in order to give their partner an amazing experience.
You cannot be selfish in bed and an amazing lover at the same time. The two things clash with each other. Yes, there are ways to seek your own gratification but a complete focus on your partner is required to rock their world.
Pay Attention to Body Language and Non-Verbal Cues
Everyone can learn how to be more attentive during sex.
Non-verbal communication is an important sex component. It consists of gestures, body language, facial expressions and even body position. A partner gently pushing you away probably means they don’t like what you’re doing. If your partner is grabbing on to you and pulling you closer, chances are that you’re hitting the right spot.
Paying attention to non-verbal cues separates the best lovers from the mediocre ones. You’ll learn how to decode such signs with experience. If you’re not certain what’s going on, you can always ask your partner for some feedback.
Use Your Tongue More
Penetrative sex isn’t everybody’s favorite thing.
In fact, many women cannot climax from penetration alone.
Get in the habit of using your tongue and your fingers more than your penis. Giving your partner an orgasm before the actual intercourse begins is a great strategy to ensure the satisfaction of both parties involved.
Finally, do not assume you know everything about erotic stimulation and pleasure.
There isn’t a formula and a specific set of arousal techniques that work for everyone.
A part of the experience is getting to know your partner and discovering little hidden aspects of their sexuality. Don’t hesitate to engage in such activities and you’ll certainly be rewarded.