You know those moments when someone throws a nasty insult your way, and your mind goes blank? It’s the perfect comeback that hits you about two hours too late. I. Hate. This. Feeling! Wouldn’t it be great if you had a mental list of savage replies ready to unleash in the heat of the moment?
That’s why we’ve compiled this list of the 40 best savage insults and comebacks that will have your verbal opponent regretting they ever crossed you. These replies to an insult cut deep but also make you sound like an evil genius. By the time you’re done reading this, you’ll have a Ph.D. in insultology and a razor-sharp tongue to match.
When Someone Insults Your Appearance
When some jerk decides to insult how you look, don’t let their words tear you down. You are beautiful exactly as you are! Their insults say more about them than you, so bite back with one of these savage comebacks:
The Mirror Doesn’t Complain: Insult: “You’re ugly.”
- Response: “Well, my mirror hasn’t filed a complaint yet, so I think I’m good.”
Beauty is Subjective: Insult: “You’re not attractive.”
- Response: “Beauty is subjective. Lucky for me, I don’t need your approval to feel good about myself.”
Confidence is Key: Insult: “You look terrible.”
- Response: “My confidence is way more appealing than your negativity could ever be.”
Originality Matters: Insult: “You have a weird face.”
- Response: “I’d rather have a unique face than a generic one. Originality is rare these days.”
Looks Fade, Personality Stays: Insult: “You’re not aging well.”
- Response: “Looks fade, but my amazing personality is here to stay. Can’t say the same for wrinkles.”
Projecting Much? Insult: “You’re so unattractive.”
- Response: “It’s okay, projecting your insecurities won’t make you any prettier.”
Sorry, I’m Not a Photoshop Expert: Insult: “You need Photoshop in real life.”
- Response: “Sorry, I don’t have a ‘retouch’ button in real life. I’m just naturally fabulous.”
Flattery Will Get You Nowhere: Insult: “You’re not as pretty as you think.”
- Response: “Flattery will get you nowhere with me. I already know I’m fabulous.”
Looks Aren’t Everything: Insult: “You’re not that good-looking.”
- Response: “Looks aren’t everything, and fortunately, my worth isn’t determined by my appearance.”
I’m Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea: Insult: “Not everyone finds you attractive.”
- Response: “I’m not gonna be loved by each and every person out there. And you know what? That’s totally cool with me!”
Looks Aren’t Everything: Insult: “You’re fat!”
- Response: “Well, at least my weight is heavier than the value of your opinions.”
When Someone Insults Your Character
When someone throws an insult at your character or personality, don’t let it get you down. Respond with confidence and grace. Here are some savage comebacks to put them in their place:
Rise Above: Insult: “You’re such a terrible person.”
- Response: “Coming from someone who clearly mastered the art of terrible opinions, I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Actions Speak Louder: Insult: “You’re so dishonest.”
- Response: “Well, honesty is like Wi-Fi – it’s invisible, but some people clearly struggle to connect with it.”
Mirror Reflection: Insult: “You’re selfish.”
- Response: “Funny, you’re calling me selfish but from where I’m standing it seems like you’re the one that’s more concerned about yourself”
Define Your Own Path: Insult: “You’re a failure.”
- Response: “Failure is just success in progress. Don’t worry, you’ll understand once you start achieving something meaningful.”
Constructive Criticism, Please: Insult: “You’re incompetent.”
- Response: “If you have constructive criticism, I’m more than open to hearing it. Otherwise, your negativity is not really my concern.”
Let’s Talk Solutions: Insult: “You’re always messing things up.”
- Response: ” Oh please, at least I try. You just sit there with your perfect little world and judge everyone else for not living up to your impossible standards.”
Ignorance Isn’t Bliss: Insult: “You’re so ignorant.”
- Response: “You must be living in paradise if ignorance really is bliss. With how little you seem to know, you’ve gotta be the happiest person around!”
Positive Vibes Only: Insult: “You’re so negative.”
- Response: “Well, negativity is my cardio. Keeps me fit for dealing with unnecessary comments like yours.”
Character Evolution: Insult: “You’ve changed for the worse.”
- Response: “People evolve. If my growth is a problem for you, maybe it’s time for your own reflection.”
No Room for Toxicity: Insult: “You’re toxic.”
- Response: “I’ve got no room for toxicity in my life. If you’re looking for drama, you’ll have to find someone else to engage with.”
Other ideas for a reply when someone insults your character:
- “Is that really the best you’ve got?”
- “Says someone who believes ‘charm’ is a type of magic spell.”
- “Your opinion is like a bad sequel – nobody asked for it.”
- “Aw, bless your heart. I hope whatever’s troubling you gets better soon.”
- “I didn’t realize my character had a fan club. Thanks for your unsolicited membership application.”
- “Your opinion is noted, but my character doesn’t come with a receipt for your approval.”
13 Humorous Ways To Flip The Script On Rude Remarks
When someone makes a really rude remark, instead of getting mad, get clever! Having a few witty comebacks ready can help you flip the script on rude jerks and leave them speechless.
- “Who asked for your opinion?” Simply reply, “I don’t remember asking for your input either.”
- “Do you ever shut up?” You could say, “Do you ever stop being rude?” or “I’ll shut up when you start being nice.”
- “No one cares what you think.” Try, “And no one asked what you think about what I think.”
- “You’re annoying.” Respond with, “The world doesn’t need your brand of negativity polluting it any more than it already has.”
- “Whatever, loser.” Say, “Takes one to know one!”
- “You’re weird.” Try, “Normal is boring. I’d rather be weird.”
- “I appreciate your attempt at humor. Perhaps something a bit more clever and original would land better next time.”
- “I didn’t realize I needed a membership to the ‘Insults Anonymous’ club, but thanks for the invite.”
- “If being rude gave you superpowers, you’d be Captain Inconsiderate, champion of social awkwardness.”
- “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
- “You can lob insults at me all day, but that just reflects more on your character than mine.”
- “Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I was running low on nonsense today.”
- “I’m not a therapist, but I’m here to help you work through whatever issues led to that comment.”
When all else fails, a simple “Bless your heart!” or “Aren’t you charming?” in your sweetest voice. They’ll know exactly what you mean – that they’re being a jerk! And the sweeter you say it, the more it drives home how rude they’re acting.
Remember
At the end of the day, the only person you need to prove yourself to is you. Let the haters hate, and just keep being your awesome self. But there’s nothing wrong with going forth and conquering while dropping truth bombs on fools who don’t know any better. Stay savage!
