How To Shut Down A Narcissist: Phrases To Disarm Them

You probably know someone who thinks they’re perfect and never make mistakes. They are always going on and on about how great they are while putting others down. Yes, that’s a narcissist for you. Dealing with someone like that can be super annoying. You just want to finally tell them what you really think. But before you do something you’ll regret, here are some ways you can politely set them straight without losing your temper or getting aggressive.

Recognize The Games They Play

Before assigning labels, it’s always best to gain some perspective on a situation. What may seem like narcissistic behavior could simply be a person expressing their unhappiness in an unhealthy way. However, if you are truly convinced beyond any doubt that the individual is a narcissist, it’s important to be aware of their tactics.

So who exactly are narcissists? Narcissists are masters of manipulation. They will employ strategies like gaslighting, love bombing, and playing the victim to get what they want. You need to stay alert for these red flags and not allow yourself to be reeled in by their antics. Ultimately, their goal is to sow seeds of doubt in your mind and keep you constantly off-balance. Here are some signs that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissist:

They constantly put others down
They lack empathy
They have an inflated sense of self-importance
They are manipulative
They are arrogant
They crave attention and admiration
They have difficulty handling criticism
They exploit others
They lack insight into themselves
They have unstable relationships

Unfortunately, some conflicts just can’t be resolved. If the narcissist’s toxicity has become too much to bear and is seriously damaging to your well-being, preparing an exit strategy may be the best approach. Cutting off all contact and reclaiming your peace of mind is important. Or you could consider employing some verbal jabs to stand up for yourself.

Verbal Comebacks And Put Downs That Will Knock A Narcissist Down A Peg

Short, Sweet Shutdown

One of the most effective ways to shut down a narcissist is with a brief, dismissive statement. You don’t need to engage or explain yourself. Sometimes, a quick, sharp response is exactly what’s needed to shut them down and reclaim the conversation.

A few examples:

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“Sorry, but I’m not in the mood to listen to you go on and on about yourself right now.”
“Your arrogance is boring me.”
“Your need for attention is exhausting.”
“I don’t have time for your ego today.”
“Your drama is not my priority.”
“I’m not here to inflate your ego.”
“Your vanity is not my concern.”
“I’m not here to feed your narcissism.”
“Your need for validation is obvious and tiring.”

Question Their Credentials

Narcissists desperately want to be admired as superior and accomplished. Politely questioning their credentials or expertise can be a brutal ego deflation.

“I’m surprised you feel qualified to speak on that topic – what are your relevant degrees or work experience?”

Or another approach is playing dumb. Pretend like you just don’t get where they’re coming from. You could say something like “Sorry man, I’m not really following your point. Think you could explain it in simpler terms?” That way they have to break it down more and it’s tougher for them to keep acting like they’re the smartest guy in the room. Sometimes getting self-absorbed people to doubt themselves, even a little, is the best approach.

Shine The Spotlight Back

Narcissists loathe being outshone or having the focus pulled away from them. Throw a genuine compliment another person’s way. Make sure the narcissist hears it too. Nothing shuts them down more than knowing they aren’t the only talented ones anymore.

My favorite tactic though is reframing what they’re saying. When they’re going on and on about their latest big accomplishment, just nod and say “Sounds like you’re feeling a little insecure today and need some reassurance. It’s okay, we all have moments of doubt. If you want to talk about it, I am right here.” This will shut them down! It turns the whole conversation around on them and gets them thinking about why they constantly have to brag instead of just appreciating others.

Laugh It Off

One of the most grating responses for an egomaniac? Simply laughing off their self-aggrandizing behavior as pathetic. A short chuckle and dismissive wave is the ultimate brush-off.

“Oh you’re hilarious. Moving on…”

“Oh my gosh, you’re too funny. Anyway, what else is new?”

The trick is staying calm and not giving them a reaction. If you get all worked up or fight with them, then they win. Just act like it doesn’t bother you at all. A smile and moving the conversation along takes all the air out of their sails. Kill them with kindness. Don’t let what they say get under your skin.

Additional Tips

Set Rock-Solid Boundaries

If possible, don’t play their mind games. Establish clear boundaries about what behavior you’ll accept – then stick to them. Narcissists will try to steamroll past limits, so remain firm. Your self-respect matters more than their approval.

Master The “Gray Rock” Method

When a narcissist baits you, become the most boring, uninteresting person on earth. Give brief, dull responses devoid of emotion or detail. Like a “gray rock,” you frustrate their attempts to provoke drama. Kill them with indifference.

Build An Unshakable Support System

Narcissists want to isolate you, so cultivate close relationships with those who truly care. A rock-solid support network provides perspective when the narcissist tries to warp reality. Don’t just listen to the person who’s being manipulative – pay attention to the ones who will keep it real with you too. You need people you can rely on and trust.

Our Advice

Don’t let anyone make you question your own reality. You know what’s true for you. And don’t forget – the best thing you can do is to just keep doing you. Live your best life. These people want to keep you playing their silly mind games, so don’t give them that. Set some limits and work on bettering yourself. Spend time doing things that make you happy. Because you deserve so much more than how they’ve been treating you. This is your chance to break away and fully embrace your own power.