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Why Being There Matters More Than Being Perfect

Last updated: April 16, 2025 17:06
By
Denisa K.
ByDenisa K.
Founder of chi-nese.com. Passionate traveler, astrologer, and lifelong learner.
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7 Min Read

Being a parent isn’t easy. Between work, cleaning, helping with homework, cooking meals, and trying to keep everyone happy, it can feel like there’s never enough time in the day. Sometimes, it seems like the only way to keep up is to try being perfect all the time. But here’s the truth—kids don’t need perfect. They need someone who’s there.

They don’t care if the living room is a mess or if dinner isn’t homemade. They don’t even notice if your clothes are wrinkled or if you forgot to sign a form. What they remember is who was around. Who listened. Who helped with puzzles, answered a million questions, and was there at bedtime.

That’s what matters most.

Being Present Doesn’t Mean Doing Everything Alone

A lot of families try to do it all by themselves. But even superheroes need a break. Trying to be everything for everyone all the time usually ends in burnout. And when grown-ups are overwhelmed, kids can feel it too—even if no one says anything out loud.

That’s why it helps to have extra support, not just for big things but for everyday stuff. One way families do this is by working with an Au Pair Agency. Having an au pair in the house means there’s someone else who can help with daily routines, from getting kids ready in the morning to keeping them company after school.

The great part? Au pairs aren’t just babysitters. They’re usually young adults from another country who live with the family for a while. They get to learn about life in a new place, and the kids get to learn from them too. It’s a two-way exchange that helps take some pressure off parents—so they can spend more time being present, not perfect.

What Kids Actually Notice

Adults often worry about all the little things—like whether the cupcakes for school look store-bought or homemade, or if the laundry is folded the “right” way. But those aren’t the things kids remember when they grow up.

They remember small moments. Watching cartoons before dinner. Talking about their day during a car ride. Feeling safe when someone hugs them tight after a nightmare.

Being there doesn’t mean filling every second with activities or making sure every detail is flawless. It means showing up—mentally, emotionally, and physically—whenever possible.

When someone takes the time to really pay attention, even for just a few minutes, kids feel it. They feel seen. They feel heard. And that matters more than whether the dishwasher was emptied or the schedule was followed exactly.

Why Imperfect Days Can Still Be Good Days

Not every day will go smoothly. Some mornings are rushed, some afternoons are loud, and some evenings feel too short. But a rough day doesn’t equal a bad family.

Kids are surprisingly forgiving. They don’t need grown-ups to be cheerful every second. They just want honesty, warmth, and someone who tries their best—even when they’re tired or frustrated.

And when there’s help at home—like from an au pair—it’s easier to bounce back from those tough moments. An extra pair of hands means parents can breathe a little easier, and kids get more attention from someone who truly cares. That support can turn a chaotic afternoon into a calm evening or help avoid a meltdown during homework time.

Even with help, there will be messes. There will be forgotten lunchboxes and mismatched socks. But those things don’t cancel out the love a kid feels when someone is there for them.

Kids Learn By Watching

Another reason being present matters so much? Kids copy what they see.

They don’t just hear what adults say—they notice how they act. When they see a parent put down their phone and listen, that teaches them to do the same. When they watch someone handle stress with patience or admit when they made a mistake, they learn that it’s okay to be human.

This is true for au pairs too. Since they live in the house and spend time with the kids, they become role models in small, everyday ways. Kids see how they talk, solve problems, show kindness, and manage responsibilities. Those quiet lessons stick more than any lecture.

Being a positive example doesn’t mean being flawless. It means showing up, admitting when things are hard, and trying again tomorrow. That’s what sticks. That’s what shapes kids into strong, kind people.

More Help Means More Moments Together

When families get support—whether from extended relatives, au pairs, or close friends—it doesn’t mean they’re doing less. It means they’re making more space for the moments that count.

Imagine having more time for a board game after dinner because someone else folded the laundry. Or getting help with the school drop-off so there’s a few minutes of peace before work.

Those small shifts matter. They turn busy days into connected days. They make room for laughter, rest, and real conversations.

Getting help at home isn’t about handing off the hard parts. It’s about building a team that makes family life feel fuller and less rushed. And for kids, that kind of environment feels safe, steady, and full of love.

Final Thoughts: Just Show Up

At the end of the day, being perfect isn’t the goal. No one remembers perfect.

They remember who made them feel important. Who showed up when it mattered. Who listened, helped, and stayed.

Whether that’s a parent, a sibling, or an au pair who becomes part of the family—it all adds up.

Every small moment counts. Every hug, every smile, every silly story told at bedtime. That’s what makes a difference.

So if some days are loud, messy, or totally off-schedule, that’s okay. As long as someone’s there—really there—that’s more than enough.

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