At some point, everyone wonders: am I in control of my life, or is everything already mapped out? As an astrologer, I’ve wrestled with this question a lot. Some people seem to swim through life like a goldfish in clear water, barely bumping into obstacles, while others feel like they were dropped into a storm the moment they were born. Some birth charts are full of supportive aspects, while others show challenges right from childhood. Naturally, it makes you wonder: is it all fate, or do we actually get a say in how our lives turn out?
I don’t think there’s a single neat answer. But when you look at myths, philosophy, and even small everyday choices, you start to see how fate and free will weave together in surprising ways.
What We Mean by Fate and Free Will
When people say fate, they usually mean that life is already set, like there’s a script written for us before we even arrive. No matter what you do, the story unfolds as planned. Some call it karma, others say it’s “written in the stars.”
Free will is the opposite: the idea that you’re steering your own ship. Yes, you’re influenced by circumstances, but ultimately your choices are what shape your path.
Personally? I think it’s both. Life hands us a framework, but within that framework, we have the freedom to make choices, and those choices matter. Fate sets the stage, but free will decides how we act on it.
Fate’s Side of the Story
Oedipus and the Inescapable Prophecy
The Greek tragedy of Oedipus shows fate at its most ruthless. His parents tried to avoid a prophecy that their son would kill his father and marry his mother. By trying to prevent it, they actually caused it. The lesson? Sometimes, no matter how hard you resist, the story still finds you.
The Three Fates
The Greeks also imagined three sisters spinning, measuring, and cutting the thread of life. You didn’t get to pick when you were born, how long you lived, or when your thread ended. That was already decided.
Prophecies That Write Themselves
Even modern stories echo this. In Harry Potter, no matter how people try to dodge the prophecy, Harry still ends up facing Voldemort. Fate has a way of pulling the strings until things line up.
Real Life “Coincidences”
Ever taken a random detour only to bump into someone who changed your life? Maybe you had no choice that day… the road was blocked, construction forced you over, and suddenly, there they were. Some call it a coincidence, but it feels like something bigger nudged you there.
Free Will’s Side of the Story
Of course, life isn’t just a script we’re trapped in. Our small choices prove free will is alive and well.
- Breakfast is free will in action. Nobody decides for you whether you eat eggs, toast, or nothing at all. You make the call.
- Love involves choice. Fate might bring two people together, but both have to choose to say yes. No amount of magic, manifestation, or “Law of Attraction” can override free will in love.
- Hobbies and passions are chosen. You’re not assigned them at birth. You gravitate toward what lights you up, whether that’s hiking, music, painting, or playing video games.
- Even your commute is choice. Do you go the fast way, the scenic way, or the one with fewer stoplights? Those little choices shape what happens next.
So Which One Wins?
Maybe it’s not about one winning at all. Fate and free will don’t cancel each other out. They interact.
- Fate gives us the stage: the timing of our birth, the family we land in, the world we inherit.
- Free will decides how we play our role: what we do with the cards we’re dealt, how we respond, and which paths we take.
I like to think of it like this: fate builds the swimming pool, but we decide how we swim. Some float lazily, some do laps, some splash and dive. Same water, different experience.
How to Tell the Difference
When you’re trying to figure out if something was fate or free will, ask yourself:
- Did I have a real choice? If yes, free will was at play.
- Were outside forces in charge? If timing, luck, or other people’s actions shaped the event, fate probably had more weight.
- Did it change me? Fate often shows up in the form of life lessons we can’t avoid.
- Does it feel meaningful later? Fate often makes sense in hindsight, even if it felt random at the time.
My Take
To me, fate is like a birth chart: it sets the framework. Free will is the paintbrush in our hand. Some things are already outlined, but we decide how to color them in. If I were born with heavy aspects, yes, life might feel harder, but those tough times are often what shape real strength.
Still, free will only applies to us. We can choose how to respond, grow, and move forward, but we can’t rewrite someone else’s path, no matter how much we’d like to steer their ship. That’s why you can’t “manifest” a specific person just because you believe they’re perfect for you. They have their own free will, and that’s something we can’t, and shouldn’t, control.
