Some relationships end on paper but linger in your body, your mind, and your spirit. You delete the photos, block the number, swear you’re done, and yet a part of you still feels hooked. That invisible thread you can’t quite cut? That’s what many call a soul tie.
Soul ties can be beautiful, but when they turn toxic, they keep you tied to someone long after the story should have ended. Here’s what they are, how to spot them, and, most importantly, how to finally break free.
What Exactly Is a Soul Tie?
A soul tie is an energetic bond formed through intense connection: emotional, physical, or spiritual. It’s the invisible knot that forms when someone becomes deeply woven into your inner world.
- Healthy soul ties feel like support, safety, and belonging. They make you feel stronger.
- Unhealthy soul ties feel like chains. You replay old conversations, crave validation you don’t need, and can’t quite feel like “yourself” without that person.
Soul ties can form through:
- Emotional bonds – deep love, shared trauma, or dependency.
- Physical intimacy – sex can create especially strong ties, even without emotional closeness.
- Spiritual experiences – rituals, shared beliefs, or anything that feels sacred.
The hardest part about soul ties is that they don’t disappear just because the relationship does. I know this firsthand, I carried one for eight long years before I was finally able to let it go.
Signs You Might Be Stuck in a Toxic Soul Tie
- They slip into your thoughts all the time, even when you wish they wouldn’t.
- You feel guilty about moving on or like you’re somehow still responsible for their happiness.
- Their approval still feels addictive, even though it leaves you drained.
- Boundaries never seem to stick, no matter how hard you try.
- You feel like parts of who you are got lost in the connection.
- You catch yourself checking their social media or even their family’s just to feel closer.
If this list hits home, it’s a clear sign the tie is weighing you down. But you don’t have to stay stuck. I’ll walk you through how to finally cut that cord.
How To Break a Soul Tie (Step by Step)
We’ve all wished for a magic switch that could erase someone from our mind… press it, and the tie is gone, along with the late-night thoughts and lingering feelings. But it doesn’t work like that. In fact, the harder you try not to think about them, the more space they seem to take up.
Breaking a soul tie isn’t about wiping memories clean or pretending the relationship never mattered. It’s about calling your energy back to yourself, piece by piece, until you feel whole again.
1. Admit the Tie Exists
The first step in breaking a soul tie is honesty. Stop sugarcoating it or pretending you’re ‘over it.’ Say it out loud: This connection is still affecting me. Naming it is powerful because it takes away some of its grip.
I remember when I finally admitted it to myself: Yes, this soul tie is still here. Yes, I think about them more than I want to. And yes, I’m ready to work through it. That simple act of honesty cracked something open. It wasn’t weakness… it was the beginning of freedom.
2. Stop Feeding the Thread
Cut off contact. That means no “just one quick check” of their Instagram, no replying to the late-night hey text, no scrolling through their stories to see what they’re up to. Every peek, every tiny interaction, only tightens the knot.
If unfollowing feels too harsh, that’s okay, you can mute them. Protect your peace without feeding the tie. And as cliché as it sounds, out of sight, out of mind really does help. The less they’re in your daily orbit, the easier it becomes to breathe without them.
3. Forgive to Free Yourself
Resentment is like a chain… it keeps you tied to them long after the story should’ve ended. Forgiveness isn’t about saying what they did was okay. It’s about saying, I refuse to keep carrying this weight.
Let them go in your heart. And just as importantly, forgive yourself: for staying too long, for ignoring red flags, for anything you still blame yourself for. That release is what truly loosens the soul tie.
4. Break It Out Loud
Words have power. Try a declaration like:
“I release this soul tie with [name]. I reclaim my energy. I am free.”
Say it once, say it often, say it until you believe it.
5. Rebuild Who You Are
Toxic ties blur who you are, almost like your edges get lost in theirs. The way back is to reclaim yourself. Do things that light you up, explore new passions, and pour energy into friendships that make you feel alive. Little by little, you rediscover you.
For me, it was metal detecting. It came out of nowhere, but it caught my heart. Each time I went out with the detector, I thought less about them and more about the excitement of the next find. That’s the beauty of it… when you focus on what sparks joy, the tie loosens on its own.
6. Lean on Spirit or Ritual
Prayer, meditation, smudging, journaling… choose whatever feels real to you. Ritual gives the release something tangible, anchoring it in both body and soul. It doesn’t have to be elaborate; it just has to be yours.
For me, I leaned on prayers to the goddess Lilith. It felt raw, honest, and powerful.
7. Protect Yourself Going Forward
Breaking one tie is only half the journey. The other half is making sure you don’t weave the same knot all over again. Boundaries are your safeguard. Without them, you risk repeating the same story with someone new.
Think of it this way: you finally cut the cord, you feel lighter, and then a new person walks in. If you’re not mindful, the same unhealthy patterns can start stitching themselves back together. Protect yourself. Notice the red flags early and don’t ignore the lessons your last tie already taught you.
What Happens After You Break a Soul Tie
At first, you might feel empty, flat, drained, almost like life has lost its “juice,” as I like to call it. That’s normal. It’s the quiet that comes right after cutting a heavy thread. But give it time, and that emptiness transforms into freedom. Slowly, you’ll start to notice real shifts in your life:
- More energy to pour back into yourself.
- Clearer thoughts where there used to be fog.
- Relationships that feel balanced instead of binding.
- A stronger sense of who you are and what you want.
Your heart doesn’t just open to new people… it also opens to opportunities, creativity, and success that couldn’t reach you while you were tied down.
Untying the Ending
Breaking a soul tie can feel tangled and heavy, but it’s also one of the most freeing things you’ll ever do. You’re not just loosening an unhealthy bond… you’re reclaiming your voice, your energy, and your future. Once that energy is yours again, you can pour it into what you love, into opening your heart, and into moving forward instead of staying stuck in the past.
You’re not untying knots simply to grieve what’s gone. You’re freeing your hands so you can shape something stronger, healthier, and far more aligned with the person you’re becoming.
