I’ve been into astrology for well over a decade now, and during that time, I’ve met so many astrologers. Some were absolute gems—wise, empathetic, and genuinely helpful. And some… well, let’s just say I lovingly call them fake astrologers.
Now, I don’t mean “fake” as in “they don’t know what a trine is.” I mean fake as in: they reduce astrology to stereotypes, fear-mongering, and overly simplistic judgments that don’t actually help anyone. If you’re wondering how to tell the difference and identify a fake astrologer, let me spill some cosmic tea.
The ten rules of a true astrologer
- They never charge hundreds of dollars for a short session.
- They don’t just guess from your chart—they ask you questions and listen.
- They never rely on lazy stereotypes (like “12th house Moon = bad mom”).
- They explain both challenges and strengths in your chart, not just the scary stuff.
- They remind you that no aspect is pure doom and no aspect is pure blessing.
- They understand that astrology is a map, not a prison sentence.
- They’re lifelong students—always learning, never acting like they know everything.
- They personalize the reading instead of giving copy-paste textbook lines.
- They empower you with insight instead of making you feel helpless.
- They respect astrology (and you) enough to treat it as a tool for growth, not a gimmick.
Here are more red flags I’ve noticed in fake astrologers:
1) They see hard aspects and immediately assume you had a miserable life.
Just because someone has squares or oppositions doesn’t mean their life is automatically tragic. Are these aspects challenging? Sure. Do they build grit, resilience, and power? Absolutely.
One of my clients had the cushiest childhood you could imagine—wealth, comfort, everything served on a silver platter. But when he stepped into the stock market world, that’s when his exact Saturn square Mercury kicked in. Instead of “ruining” him, it gave him incredible patience. Even after losing millions (yes, plural), he had the focus to rebuild. That’s Saturn for you. Oh, and Mercury, the universal trader.
What I’m trying to say here is that just because someone has hard aspects in their chart doesn’t mean their life is miserable. Those aspects make them tough, hardworking, and resilient…like stone. They’re weights in the cosmic gym. Fake astrologers forget that.
On the other hand, imagine Jupiter, the so-called “luck bringer”, making a trine to your Pisces Ascendant, your chart ruler. An inexperienced astrologer might jump straight to clichés: “You’ll have good luck! You’ll feel great in your own skin! Maybe even indulge a little more because life feels so sweet.”
But here’s the reality: I went through this exact transit not long ago (I’m a Pisces rising), and so did one of my clients. Her result? She broke her leg—quite literally tied to Pisces, which rules the feet and lower legs. My result? Absolutely nothing noticeable.
So, no, positive aspects don’t always bring only positive outcomes. And yes, so-called “negative” aspects can actually turn out to be blessings in disguise.
2) They rely on stereotypes like it’s a script.
When I first dipped into astrology, I went to tons of readers. I have a 12th house Moon with zero aspects to it, and do you know what every single one told me?
“You must have a terrible relationship with your mother.”
“Your mom was cold or absent.”
…Excuse me? My mom is literally my best friend. We are like the Gilmore Girls, but with less coffee and more astrology memes.
My Moon in the 12th doesn’t mean mommy issues. For me, it means I need solitude to recharge. Even at a party, I’ll sneak away to the bathroom for five minutes of silence just to breathe. It also makes me deeply sensitive, intuitive, and able to see straight through people’s facades. That’s not a stereotype, that’s lived experience.
I recently saw a TikTok astrologer analyze someone with a 4th house stellium. They immediately went: “Ah, family issues. You must be super domestic.”
But guess what? That person was simply private, deeply rooted, and obsessed with gardening. The 4th house is not just about family…it represents depth, grounding, ecology, and privacy. And that depth runs even deeper than the 8th house, because it’s buried at the very bottom of the chart. Fake astrologers forget that nuance.
3) They preach relationship doom.
If you hear someone say “You’ll never find love because of XYZ in your chart”… just walk away. Seriously.
I once saw a YouTube astrologer tell someone with Saturn in the 7th house that they’d “never find true love.” Ugh. Saturn is not there to lock the doors on romance forever—it’s there to teach patience, responsibility, and authenticity. Yes, love might come later in life, or with someone more mature or older. And yes, it might look different than the Hollywood fantasy. But Saturn also rewards—often with the kind of love that actually lasts.
There is no doom in astrology. Period.
4) They say your destiny is set in stone.
The ultimate red flag: when someone tells you, “Your chart says X, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Nope. Astrology is a map. You can stare at it and do nothing, or you can use it to find your way. It’s a tool, not a prison sentence.
Take Saturn in the 1st house. That placement can be tough—these people can be overly harsh on themselves, pushing their bodies and spirits past the limit. But once they slow down and realize their worth, Saturn shifts. The same placement that once felt like a burden can become their strength.
Your chart shows possibilities, patterns, and lessons—not a fixed destiny.
5) They only tell you the “bad stuff.”
A real astrologer balances challenge with empowerment. A fake one loves to spook you with, “Oh no, Pluto’s going to destroy your life,” or “You’ll never be happy with this Moon sign.” That’s lazy astrology. Real astrologers remind you of your agency—yes, even under a Pluto transit. Especially under a Pluto transit.
6) They act like they know everything after two minutes.
Astrology is complex. You could study it for thirty years and still find new layers to explore. So if someone glances at your chart for ten seconds and starts rattling off absolute truths with zero nuance? Big red flag. A good astrologer will take their time, ask questions, and admit when something needs deeper exploration.
For example, if you had a Capricorn Moon in the 6th house, I would never just say, “You’re cold and only focused on work.” Instead, I might interpret it as someone who seeks safety and stability in their everyday routines. Maybe you even struggle to “digest” things—literally or emotionally—which could sometimes show up as stomach issues. But even then, I’d ask you questions first, because every chart is personal and no placement has only one meaning.
Finding a real astrologer
Finding a genuine astrologer is partly luck. The really good ones? They’re usually not the ones going viral on TikTok with “Top 3 signs that…” videos or pumping out cookie-cutter horoscopes in mainstream newspapers. They’re the ones quietly practicing, studying, and guiding people in meaningful ways. You can often find them on blogs like this one, on Tumblr, Reddit, and yes, some truly great ones are even on TikTok.
They may not be flashy. They may not have a million followers. But they’re out there, and when you find one, it feels like your chart is finally speaking your language.
